Finding Clarity in Confusion
This morning, I woke up feeling a little off. I think it had to partially do with the excessive amount of alcohol I drank last night (in the spirit of TRANSPARENCY) , but I also know I allowed some distorted thoughts to creep their way into my brain last night and this morning. I normally am jumping out of bed ready to start my day, but today I took a little extra time. The newest addition to my routines, is I have been trying to avoid my phone for one hour after I wake up and one hour before I go to bed. This has definitely helped for scenarios like today, because I am able to give myself space. I took a little extra time than usual this morning , to sit in my discomfort and really feel and out and address it before I came out into the world to go about my day. I sat and meditated (as I have been doing) on positive intentions, and that helped clear my mind a bit. With these weird feelings still lurking, I turned to my crutch in everything and my biggest activity recommendation for anyone seeking clarity - writing.
I get what I like to call a ‘brain tornado’ sometimes. When I leave thoughts in my brain, my train of thought becomes circular, magnifying negative thoughts or confusion, until I’ve twisted myself into a confused mess. In these moments I’ve been turning heavily to writing. Whether it’s jotting down a quick thought or note to release it, or sitting down for an intense session to truly release and interpret the thoughts in my brain - my journal is my most prized possession. I use it for notes of inspiration, truths, affirmations, gratitudes, stories, but my favorite use for it is RELEASE. To get out of the brain tornado, I need to write down my brain onto the paper, so I can address my thoughts head on, interpret them, organize them, and most importantly - REFRAME them. Why I am I feeling this way? What put this into my brain? What can I do with this information now that I’ve identified it? Putting my thoughts onto paper allows me to visually interpret them and address the source of whatever emotion I am feeling, and THIS has given me the clarity to move forward with my day today. I’ve RELEASED that emotion and that feeling, and now am able to focus on what I’m truly grateful for, and goals I'm set on achieving with my day today. That’s not to say the thoughts won’t creep up again, but this is why I incorporate writing into my day at multiple different points.
This ‘pain’ can be useful to me as a lesson, moving forward to address future situations and emotions with this new knowledge, and experience that pain, or loss, or suffering brings. In a discussion with friends the other day, we noted that using pain for strength has a fine line between not being victim to your circumstances , as opposed to seeking out pain for strength. It is most powerful to seek out happiness, and peace, but then USE the pain that you encounter, for learning and growth. I discovered recently that being a positive person, doesn’t mean being joyful 100% of the time, but heavily incorporates an awareness and balance of energy. Respecting yourself enough to face your pain head on , and use it to your advantage. Respecting yourself to balance the energy you’re giving out, and the energy you’re giving to yourself. Addressing my thoughts and feelings, then using writing to process them, and be able to fully release them, moving forward with positive intention. Being able to pause, and slowly process through visual thought observation and interpretation is what gets me through my days on a positive wave, even when they don’t start off that way.